The Forgotten Man

Our lovely Well friend, Nick Bullock from London Hypnotherapy posted this beautiful post on LinkedIn this week. It was such a beautiful reminder of the space and time that the men in our lives can so desperately need. 

It had been the most glorious of days until the clock chimed six and the heavens opened.  Paul arrived late with profuse apologies ushering forth his reasons without request “my time is not my own these days” he responded to the question not asked, he had never made a session at the height of the hour. 

Late by only five minutes the driving rain he had collected beading on his coat seemed to echo the tearful mood he was carrying with him. 

“I don’t know” he said

“I just can’t seem to get anything right – whatever I do I’m doing wrong it’s like I can never do enough for her”

Paul had returned regularly for sessions throughout the last several months but only lately had he begun to hear his deepest thoughts out loud, thoughts that he had never before spoken to himself. 

The room darkened further through weather and words “and then when I do something I’m constantly told I’m wrong” he continued “it’s endless, a list of things to do now, a list of things to do later. I race through them fearing her return, arguing with her even though she’s not there but knowing when she is, I won’t raise a word”

But if you were to raise this with your wife Paul, what would you hope for…what would you like to hear?

“it’s just easier not to” he replied, “I’m so exhausted so tired of it all”

A flash of sky-filled light rallied us from the sombre reflection and too late we turned to the outside to observe something that had long since passed. The sash window left ajar from the sun-stroked day now invited unwelcome fist-like droplets punching heavily against the wooden sill. 

“I never hear the rain” he realised to no one in particular. 

In his mournful thought, Paul gently stilled gazing through the nothingness beyond the glass as he spoke no more. 

I made to close the window but somehow in that moment there seemed more sense to leaving all alone, listening to the space, mesmerised by the rapid rat-a-tat of rain, absorbing the peaceful calm. 

As time went by I watched Paul sink into the chair, sink into the quiet. His features softened from the harsh cruel knot he was tied in and I knew then that no words I could offer would mean as much as the simple ease of nature’s answer. Perhaps, I thought, he had made the session at the just the right time after all, and in that quiet with less said and done, Paul seemed to silently find his answers too.

We hold a space for our male clients across all therapies and classes. If you would like to know what we have to offer, have a browse through our site and please do get in touch if there is anything you need help with or would like to ask. 

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